Change ebbs and flows with time.
In my youth, I was resistant to change; I didn’t want to move again, (we moved over 3 times before I was 16), I didn’t want to give up potato chips, I didn’t want to transfer schools…. As I grew up, change became easier. I found the benefit of change especially if the desired outcome came to fruition. I was talking to a girlfriend who recently got married and the topic of change came up. She is convinced that she will not change certain things that her new husband now finds annoying, so I started thinking, do we ever change?
Over the past few years, I have changed. My career has changed from luxury retail sales to holistic wellness. I have changed my eating habits, my workout schedules, and the way I talk to people??? well let's just say that has changed drastically. Things have changed for the better and some for the worse. I feel like I’m changing all the time. So why do people think it’s so difficult to change?
The need or want
Whether talking about personal development, health issues or life betterment the need or want for change is necessary. I cannot tell my boyfriend to change if he doesn’t think there is a problem to begin with.
This is an important factor.
YOU have to WANT to change.
If someone tells me that I need to change or is persistent commenting on certain personal attributes, (like watching garbage tv), and I don’t truly believe that is a problem, I will either:
A) stop talking to that person - creates hate
C) do nothing - creates a disrespectful relationship from no consideration (perception)
Then there’s the health factor.
You may have someone in your life who has a health factor they should be paying attention to. Whether it’s to lower blood pressure, regulate insulin resistance, kidney and liver health, inflammation, or maybe it’s chronic head or body aches - there is physical need to change, but either can’t or won’t. These kind of changes are scary and require great deal of support and commitment. It can be scary and overwhelming, the benefits including but not limited to:
Happier, healthier life
More time with family and friends
Increased energy and mood
And much more.
Though motivation may be difficult to find while changing your eating and physical habits, completing a deep internal reflection into your WHY may help. Having a plan in place, along with support people is important to keep consistent and on track with this type of change.
Here is a quick plan of action for you:
What is the change? (ex, eat less sugar, eat more greens, exercise more, etc…)
What is the plan of action? (food journal, meal planning, get a trainer…)
Who are my people? Friends and support people you can call during times of low motivation or struggle
Remember, this is a life change and may take longer than you think. You will have some setbacks, but this will make you stronger to accomplish your goal.
But what if the change you want isn’t a physical thing?
For example, I think I’m boring. Perhaps it’s just my astrological sign that allows me to go with the flow - unless it’s something which I have a true desire of knowing; but I don’t really have a firm ground on many daily issues. I think debate is utterly useless, which my partner dislikes every time we get into a heated discussion. I don’t ask a great deal of questions about “things” but when it comes to people, I sure do. But what do I do if I want to become more interesting?
Go to Meet-ups?
Join more groups and activities?
Be on social media more?
Read more self-help books?
It all seems so exhausting!!!
But I know that I need to get out so that I avoid depression and I can grow.
I know that I don’t need to compare myself to others and what they do.
I am aware of when I need some social interaction, when I need to be challenged and when I just need to be loved.
I count myself lucky to know the differences between all of those things.
Here’s another one; my girlfriend, who started this whole post loves to gossip. She loves gossiping about her work, loves reality tv AND loves US weekly that I’m sure she has a auto-renew subscription! My point is, that her husband didn’t realize this before they got married and now it’s an issue.
So two things here:
You really didn’t notice this before you got married?
Should she change this?
I mean, gossiping about your co-workers is one thing. It could potentially cause weird social interactions in the future; if it gets out of hand and taken into the workplace may cause HR and morale issues at work, but reality TV is fake - and she knows that. But him wanting her to stop being so gossipy has now become a thing, so is this an attribute that she needs to change? She doesn’t think so.
She feels like she’s not hurting anyone, so it’s fine behaviour. He thinks it’s unbecoming and a bad trait. Who’s right?
So I come back to want.
Knowing yourself is important. That’s a discovery I am currently going through. Because change doesn’t scare me, but the change to where and what overwhelms me. I want to to do everything and go everywhere! I often can’t pin a point down into where and what to do next. So this in here and now. This is my next step.
Until the next time,
Eat well. Work hard. Seize Wellness.